What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
