why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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