I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Randomize
