just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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