so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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