she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
