There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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