2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
