for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
