so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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