i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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