I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
