Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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