We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
