It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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