I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize