areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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