Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
