We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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