Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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