so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
