i would punch a child for taco bell
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
