What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
