I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
