Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
