planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Blood and glitter go together right?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
