my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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