Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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