Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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