I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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