That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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