everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
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