I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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