The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
