god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
