First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My breasts were aching with rage.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
