yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
