her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
