Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
