The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Randomize
