My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Drake has all the answers
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
