Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
