Ambien. No doubt about it.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
