Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
