I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
What a dumb baby whore.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
