allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
another moral hangover. fuck.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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