i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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