ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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