One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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