So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
