how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
