3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
