You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize