i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Dick very happy bro
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
