there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
