so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
