I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
