wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
