I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize