Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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