Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
