NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Randomize
