She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
